- Describe how you want to experience your next performance. Imagine walking on stage: How do you want to feel physically? What kinds of thoughts do you want to be having? What emotions do you want to experience?
In my next performance, I would like to feel calm and collected yet full of energy and vibrancy. I want to maintain open body language and posture to make the audience feel welcome. I’ve reached a point where I’m much more proficient at absolving the worries of everyday life and consciously choosing to be present in the moment as if it’s the last time I’ll ever play. As for my mindset, I want to be thankful for the opportunity to share my music and feelings through music. I want to remember how far I’ve come and how much there is still to learn but without letting that diminish what I do have to offer in that moment. A balance between confidence in preparation and a healthy dose of humility is important to me as a performer. Emotionally I want to get as close to elation as possible. It’s important to me as a musician and improviser to be able to express and feel a wide variety of emotions on stage whether that be jubilance, grief, frustration, despair, hope, mystery, etc. We all experience these range of emotions as humans and I believe it’s important to acknowledge all of these or as many as possible through our art.
- How would you like to come across to your audience? What image do you want to convey through your stage entrances, exits, and bows?
I would like to convey a sense of gratitude and an energy of importance for what we are about to create on stage. I would like the audience to feel welcome, comfortable, and to see that I’m as human as they are. I never want there to be any disconnect from feeling like they would be unable to approach me and I would never want to give off a feeling of superiority.
- Have you recently videotaped a performance and later watched it with a mentor to discuss your stage presence? If not, when might you be able to do this?
I have not discussed with a mentor about this specifically, but I have reviewed and reflected on my own performances. I could share some recent performances with my instructors and mentors in the very near future which I plan on doing.
- How do
you experience performance anxiety? Describe your specific symptoms:
- Physical- I’m much better about this than in the past but everyone feels a dose of anxiety and adrenaline when performing and occasionally in the past I would feel increased heart rate, sometimes sweaty palms, and minor tremors. However, I rarely experience these now as I’ve performed a great deal.
- thought patterns (self-talk) Again, I’ve made marked improvement in this category as well and the things I tell myself usually boil down to my individual preparation or how healthy I feel/how much energy I have at the moment. If I start to feel anxious I try to tell myself that this performance is a snapshot of where I’m at in life and music. I usually tell myself that it’s ok to fail and make a mistake because that’s how we learn and get better. Practicing this self talk ironically makes the performance run much smoother because I’m not afraid to take chances and so the music becomes more authentic
- feelings- If I’m to let anxiety take over, it can make me feel like what I’m offering is not good enough no matter how good it actually is objectively. We are often our own worst critics and this is something I have to keep in mind.
- Of the interventions described for handling anxiety in this chapter, which do you plan to work on? Getting enough sleep, eating healthier, meditate, exercise humor even more, and resist isolation.
- Have you ever experienced discomfort during or after practice? What have you done as a result of feeling this discomfort?
Occassionally yes, sometimes physically and sometimes emotionally. If I’ve sat at the piano for too long, my neck or back might get stiff or I can feel exhausted from playing saxophone. Sometimes tension builds up in my thumb from letting the horn rest there too much. Usually in order to combat this, a break is needed involving some stretches, breathing exercises to alleviate tension in the body, or some light massaging in the area of tension.
- How often do you take breaks during practice sessions? How long are these breaks? What do you do during these breaks?
I just try to listen to my body and mind and exercise patience in practice sessions. I can go for as long or as little as my body and mind will allow at that moment in time. Sometimes it can be several hours with breaks only for bodily functions and sometimes it’s only 20 minutes of conscious intentional practice. During a break I’ll usually try to step away from music, get some water, maybe eat something energizing and find some solitude in order to do some reflecting. Perhaps I’ll attempt to meditate as well.
- To help ensure a lifetime of healthy music making, what else (beyond taking breaks) can you do to help safeguard your performance health? Avoid unnecessary stressors, practice playing with as little tension as possible, cut back on consumption of things like coffee which only raise the level of cortisol in the bloodstream. Above all, remember to be grateful for a life in music and appreciate the beauty of what it is I have the privilege of doing on a daily basis. Connected to that is finding and appreciating the beauty of life itself even outside of music.
